Tick-tock, tick-tock....

Ok, so I keep referencing back to my original post thinking I'll start tapping into each one of my "issues" from there - but oddly enough, I don't feel like getting into all that negative crap just yet.  It truly is kinda amazing... once I just got all that stuff out "on paper", it's like... ok, time to move onto something else.  I thought this blogoverse, or blogosphere, or blogistania, or blog-o-republic, or whatever! would be my place to just like, vent the crap out of things and suddenly be healed!  I'm realizing, however, that maybe sometimes, although I feel it, I don't need all that negativity, and maybe I need to talk about the good things, too!

So anyways... tick-tock.  What's this about?  Well, for starters, I just had another day today where I truly wondered, where did all the time effin go??  Then I was thinking tonight about sitting down on here to Blog - ok, seriously, how do you all do it?  I mean, life gets busy enough, and then add this new layer to things - reaching out to friends.  Omg. Well, that just like, adds more shite to my plate - now, I gotta get back to people.  I gotta give and take - if I want them to read mine, I should read theirs.  Now, I feel bad if I don't.  Now, people will be HUGELY disappointed if I don't grace them with my presence and clever-hood ( is that even a word?) in the boggin universe.  :)   

Ok, Ok.... I kid, I kid.  Wow, what an ego-maniac, huh??   

Ok, but seriously... back to that whole "Time" thing.  I've always felt like everyone has the same 24-hours in a day.  So who are these goddammed over-achievers that do 20x more with it than I do and why do I feel so inadequate as a result?  I work, bath, eat, sleep - and do all the same simple "chores" for a 3 year old - and I'm friggin BEAT.  Who are these people exactly, that go to school, on top of work, plus join the frickin' Jr.League, who meet friends for dinner, who maintain a husband or a relationship, and workout every day, and who.... do yoga.   I mean, seriously.  Who has time to relax??

My beau, my main squeeze, sexy manly man... Bryan....  just told me, "I think you expect too much out of youself".  Funny, because I have heard that before.  Thing is, only this time, I believe it... because well, I love and respect him. (awww.)  And he has a point. I guess it's not as simple as I described in the paragraph above. I mean, I actually do more on a daily basis than just eat and sleep... oh yeah, and bathe.  Here's a typical day for me - well, on a normal day off - wake up call at 7am, and my mind starts going:  "I think today, I will clean the whole house, then paint it, landscape the backyard, completely clean out the garage, give to goodwill, hike 5 miles, lose 6 lbs, reconnect with 5 friends, call everyone in my phone book, have lunch with a neighbor, go to church, do one good deed for someone, BLOG, find a new job, make $5 million dollars and.... have a drink."  :)

What do you mean, I have "high expectations of myself"?  Psht.

I think sometimes I just want to do everything in one day... which in fact, goes back to my whole #1 on the list from my first post - the whole OCD "scrubbing, cleaning, hosing" disease I got goin' on.   It's kinda like, if I can't make sense of the stuff that's really going on with ME right now... I'll just clean, organize, paint, re-create, build, make a small miracle happen... I mean, whatever.   I'll do whatever it is I need to do to feel productive and like I've gotten past all the "clutter" in my brain.  Seriously.   Wow, it even exhausts just writing about it.

Anywyas, originally along with this whole "tick tock" post, I wanted to get into something else... and it really was about the whole woman "my clock is ticking" thing...  But wow.  I am seriously now seeing how this whole blogging things starts to take on a life of its own.  How do you confine to just one topic?  It's like you start talking about one thing and then, bam.... whoa, let the floodgates open! Hello, Pandora's Box.

Am I wrong?

So maybe I'll save my Bryan-talk and future need for pro-creation for the next post... but not too long now.  I mean, like I said..... TICK. TOCK. 

(haha, and right about now my Sis is saying to herself "whoa."  :)

See you soon and thanks again for reading. 

Comments

[Princess of the Universe]

I wish I was one of those people who gets stressed or whatever and cleans. When I'm stressed I nap. Or watch Buffy & Angel episodes.
And as for those people who accomplish 10 zillion things in a day...well who really likes them anyhow? They make the rest of us feel badly about ourselves! :P

[tori]

I always intend to write about one thing and end up with a post about something totally different.

I feel like there is never enough time in the day, like I am always struggling to keep up and do what I am "supposed to" be able to get done in a day. I don't have a job outside the house right now, but I have 4 kids and 2 daycare kids. I always have to remind myself that it isn't all about what I get done in a day. If I am so frazzled that I never enjoy anything, what good is doing a lot? It sounds like you and I need a little break from real life!

[Lauren]

don't worry about reading my blog, it's kind of boring. I feel you on the overachiever stuff though. What I've started doing is making a daily list of the things I NEED to do, and the things I WANT to do, and because I'm a horrible procrastinator and love my computer. I set a timer and spend 10 minutes on the computer then do something on my list, and repeat.